I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize