How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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