I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
