People with herpes should wear stickers.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
