Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
