threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
