farters have to be the big spoon...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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