The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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