drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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