Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
