I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
