gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
