theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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