escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
