STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
