Im at strip club and am horny
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
