I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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