A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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