If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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