She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize