youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
