I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
