I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
