ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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