i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
