A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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