so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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