You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
my poor anus
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
