So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
