There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
