TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
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