It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
