He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
