I accidentally had phone sex last night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
