come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
