I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
