This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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