the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
