In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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