Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize