I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
