We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
