So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
