my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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