just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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