I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
