If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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