Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
