Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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