And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
