So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
