I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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