I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
