I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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