i think my mom watched the whole time
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize