there was a trapeze. enough said
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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