God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
