I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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