Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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